How to Say No at Work
Always remember who you’re talking to when you have to say no. If you have to say no to a Traditionalist or a Boomer supervisor, remember that these generations value work ethic, sacrifice, and long hours. Make sure you aren’t saying no in a way that communicates that you are simply unwilling to go the extra mile. Instead, try something like, “I’d love to help you with this, but I also have these other ten things on my urgent to-do list. Can you help me prioritize which things I should do first?” In this way, you’ve communicated your willingness to help, but have also made your supervisor aware of your time limitations. That way, if you do wind up saying yes to the new task, you are free to put other tasks on the backburner for a little while.
If you have to say no to a Generation Xer, remember that this generation values entrepreneurship, ambition, independence, and self-trust. Because Xers have these values, they may be more understanding than other generations when you say no, but it’s still a good idea to soften the blow. Instead of a flat out “no,” try saying something like, “I’d love to, but I’m really focused on these other three top priorities, and I’m afraid that if I take this task on right now, I won’t be able to give it the attention it deserves. Have you talked to Janet about this? I know she’s very interested in this subject—she would probably jump at the chance to help.” In this way, you communicate that you understand the importance of the request and provide an alternate solution.
If you have to say no to a Millennial, you’ll have to try a different approach. Because Millennials are team oriented, super-multitaskers, pleading too much other work might just earn you a blank stare. Instead say, “I’d love to, but you know, honestly I’m not the best person for this task. Jeff is incredibly talented in this area. Have you talked to him? He would be a much better addition to your team for this project.” Just try not to rely on this “out” too much, otherwise you risk downplaying your own talents.
Photo Credit All4Humor.
3 Responses to How to Say No at Work
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Sherrie,
Nice post. I have to ask though as a culture are we that stigmatized by the word NO that we have to learn how to say in the work place?
I mean I get it, I have seen dozens of people in my career drown themselves in other peoples work because they couldn’t say no. I just don’t get how hard it is for people to say it… to peers, to bosses, to direct reports.
I say NO all the time in my career (when I had one). To me, the yes vs. no decision comes down to 3 things…
1) Do I have the time to say yes and take on additional work at no real cost to my work or me personally?
2) Will saying yes help only the person asking or the company as a whole? e.g. filling out forms for a person who doesn’t want to do it, versus helping complete a risk analysis project.
3) Will I be looked at like an a-hole for saying NO? Which typically if you can truly answer 1 or 2 the answer to #3 is a foregone conclusion.
I appreciate the idea that bosses and peers like people who put in extra effort, but the reality is bosses and peers prefer people who consistently supply high quality work and pitch in when they can versus those who take on all projects and flounder repeatedly.
Don’t be afraid of NO! Yes can certainly be worse!
I appreciate your comments because as a society it is more than a work/life balance or as my husband Mason aka the dentist informs me daily it is about LIFE/WORK BALANCE! Women in Leadership especially have a hard time juggling family, professional committments, community and charity needs then we apply requests from friends, we quickly realize we have no time left for us! What that leaves us as business professionals at work is burnt out and angry when we respond with a YES versus a NO when we really did the task out of obligation and not because we really wanted to lend a supportive hand or our valued expertise.